Porque as bizarrices cotidianas devem ser comentadas

quinta-feira, 31 de maio de 2012

Uma pequena lição sobre como prender o rabo de alguém. É útil, acreditem.



- I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom but I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a "boy friend," not an Italian*. She went to the movies with him. She stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago he took her for a drive, with another boy friend. They made her drink whiskey and then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her. Like an animal. When I went to the hospital her nose was broken. Her jaw was shattered, held together by wire. She couldn't even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life. A beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again. Sorry... I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison, and suspended the sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool, and those two bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, "For justice, we must go to Don Corleone."

- Why did you go to the police? Why didn't you come to me first?

Com esta pequena pergunta Don Vito plantou o que esperava e sabia que ia colher em menos de 5 minutos. Se liga no quanto o cara é malaco.

- What do you want of me? Tell me anything. But do what I beg you to do.

- What is that?

[daí esta besta vai no ouvido de Vito Corleone e diz assim, a seco, que o que ele quer é que matem os cara]

- That I cannot do.

- I will give you anything you ask!

ATENÇÃO. A partir daqui Don Vito começa a mostrar o abismo que o separa (com Mike e Hagen sempre à sua direita) do resto do mundo. Dá sutilmente a primeira pista de quem é que realmente manda nessa bagaça. Vamos lá.

- We have known each other many years, but this is the first time you've come to me for counsel or for help. I can't remember the last time you invited me to your house for a cup of coffee, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here. You never wanted my friendship. And you feared to be in my debt.

- I didn't want to get into trouble.

- I understand. You found paradise in America. You had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. So you didn't need a friend like me. Now you come and say "Don Corleone, give me justice." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me "Godfather." You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder for money.


JOGOU NA CARA. PLAFT!

- I ask you for justice.

- That is not justice. Your daughter is alive.

- Let them suffer then as she suffers. How much shall I pay you?

Quer dizer: o cara ainda não conseguiu compreender o que está envolvido aqui, perceberam? Nego tem o desplante de fazer Vito Corleone explicar novamente como é que as coisas funcionam na vida, alá:

- Bonasera, Bonasera, what have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, this scum who ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if by some chance an honest man like yourself made enemies they would become my enemies. And then, they would fear you.

- Be my friend... GODFATHER.


Viu? Em menos de 5 minutos ele conseguiu o que queria. O stronzo demorou mas finalmente falou. TEAM CORLEONE, o cara sabe tudo. Tá controlando , tá no poder. Agora, por favor, Notem a superioridade de quem é líder por natureza:

- Good. Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, consider this justice a gift on my daughter's wedding day. Hagen, give this job to Clemenza. I want reliable people, people who aren't going to be carried away. I mean, we're not murderers, in spite of what this undertaker thinks...

Pena que logo em seguida "that day comes" e Bonasera voltou - obviamente - para dar um jeito no Santino morto.

*O asterisco ali logo no começo não é nada não viu, gente. É algo que apenas a Reds e a Lelê compreenderão. É uma piada interna que eu poderia dividir com todos, mas é tão complicada que eu não sei por onde começar a explicação e no final das contas nem é tão relevante assim.

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